Who you are sitting next to makes all the difference.

I don’t know who comes to your mind when you picture a man on the South or West Side of Chicago but I wish you were as lucky as I am to picture Jarvis Buchanan and Lamar Brown Simms. I hope by the time you are done reading this you will be. 

Lamar Brown Simms

Jarvis Buchanan

One of the greatest gifts of the last 8 years of my life has been to occasionally be let behind the curtain in the Black community especially on the South and West sides of Chicago. This has been for reasons both related to race and totally unrelated to race. The honesty of these friends has truly been a gift – something that has been willingly given without payment. 

I recently was privileged to go on a Civil Rights tour through Atlanta and Alabama with a group of 34 men from Chicago. Half were white and half people of color and we were paired with a cross racial partner. We made stops at memorials and museums and between every stop we would watch documentaries about the civil rights movement on our chartered bus and then discuss it with the cross racial partner we were sitting next to.  One of the strongest takeaways from this trip has been this simple reality; Who you are sitting next to while watching something makes all the difference.

Thanks to these friendships I have been blessed with over the last number of years I feel like I am ‘sitting next to my Black brothers and sisters’ when I watch the world play out in front of me, and it makes all the difference in what I see and hear.. 

My hope in writing this is to share a very small version of this same gift with you. I will admit that I am tempted to share these three observations below with anger, but that is not the spirit I have found from these faithful brothers and sisters as they have encountered my ignorance (defined as a lack of knowledge or information). Nor was it the spirit of the Black church as they led our country through the civil rights movement with incredible grace and generosity. 

Here are three questions that I hear asked or insinuated frequently enough that I want to address them. I hear these differently based on who I am lucky to have  ‘sitting next to’ me.

Do you feel safe living in Chicago?

(First of all I don’t live in Chicago. I live near Chicago in Oak Park and no true Chicagoan would let me get away with answering this question without clarifying that). 

Yes I feel totally safe. The gun violence in Chicago is totally heartbreaking. The truth is that the gun violence is contained to a very few blocks within a very few neighborhoods and is always based on existing feuds. This does not make it less heart breaking but let’s be honest the other heartbreaking reality is that ‘random’ gun violence happens more in suburban schools than on the South and West side of Chicago. 

What are the Black church or Black people doing about the problems in their community?

This usually comes up in one of two ways; 

• When we (white people) are confronted with realities of undeniably horrific racism in our country's history. These horrors are so hard for us to face that we try to escape this feeling by acknowledging the historical reality but then deflecting by moving the topic away from our own complicity or responsibility to someone else's. 

• When leaders from the Black community or Black church are publicly fighting against systemic injustice and asking for change from those in power (often white people). 

The authoritative answer is that Black (and Brown) communities  are doing a lot and if we don’t spend any time within these communities or take the time to get to know what they are doing then how would we know? I am asking you to trust me. I am asking you to look and listen. If we have eyes to see and ears to hear we can’t miss this reality. There are heroes all over these communities. 

Okay this one isn’t a question I hear asked but instead is a question I am asking you. Who do you picture when you think of a man on the South or West sides of Chicago?

The gift I want to give you today is to allow you to ‘sit next’ to two of the guys I think of when I picture a man on the South or West Side of Chicago. They are part of why I feel safe being in Chicago, and they are just two of the heroes in the Black community on the South and West Sides of Chicago who are doing something about the challenges in their communities. 

Lamar Brown Simms has more hobbies than anyone I know, he is goofy as can be, amazing father of 4, NBA fanatic, theologian, podcaster, decent hooper,  husband, spoken word artist, pastor, and founder of Thriving Minds. Thriving Minds works on mental health strategies with elementary students in Chicago Public Schools on the South Side. 

I can’t give you the full gift of friendship with Lamar but if you want to be given a peak behind the curtain of this incredible man follow him on Instagram or Facebook. Or even better binge his podcast  where he talks theology, mental health, parenting and more. 

Jarvis Buchanan is a former high school cross country runner turned professional boxer who is also a devoted husband and father. He is the founder and director of Hood Heroes which provides work experience, character development and community ownership for teens in Chicago. You can find him on Instagram too.

I have two reasons for writing this and sharing it on social media:

• Narratives are powerful and I am sorry that you have likely been given an incomplete or altogether inaccurate narrative about people on the South and West sides of Chicago. You deserve the gift of knowing a more complete story. 

• I am inviting you to join in doing something about the challenges on the south and west sides of Chicago. 

• Hood Heroes:

• If you live near Chicago join Jarvis and the Hood Heroes team for a Saturday work day by signing up here. Or better yet grab your friends or small group and sign up together.

• If you don’t live in Chicago go here and donate $100 to cover the salary and lunch for a day for one of the students. 

• Let me know if you are interested in being more involved or interested in your company participating in some way. 

• Thriving Minds

• So many of us and our loved ones have struggled with mental health. If that is you would consider going here and making a monthly donation to Thriving Minds so that you can join kids working to thrive on the South Side of Chicago?

This is shared with the permission of Jarvis and Lamar.

Both Hood Heroes and Thriving Minds are ministries of Legacy Disciple which is led by Brian Dye. (who I also admire, but not as much as I adore Lamar and Jarvis 😉)