40 lessons from my first 40 years

1. Adventurers get hurt sometimes.

2. A thriving marriage is possible; putting in the effort is always worth it.

3. There are three things that if they cross your mind you will never regret:

   1. taking a shower

   2. working out

   3. having sex (marriage edition)

4. Kids are capable of more than you think. They don’t need incentives and rewards.

5. Perfectionism is an excuse for inaction. Mistakes are good for us.

6. Moving is good for you.

7. Racism and misogyny are real. We must work to dismantle them.

8. Don’t be confused by those who represent Christ poorly, a transformative relationship with Christ is paramount.

9. Shoot more. Take more chances, few are life threatening.

10. We all have power in some relationships, how we steward a little power is how we would steward a lot of power. Most don’t steward it well.

11. Read more, watch TV (or look at your phone) less.

12. Never wear sandals, a game could break out at anytime.

13. We are all created in God’s image, everyone we meet is a masterpiece of God. When we get this wrong, everything goes awry.

14. The faster we learn to only worry about things we have control of the better our life will be.

15. Life is hard for most people. There is so much hurt and pain, even for people who seem to have it all together.

16. There is also a lot of joy and beauty, we just have to keep looking for it.

17. Everybody is trying to make life work and no one knows what they are doing all the time.

18. People that will tell you the truth about you are more valuable than just about anything else in your life, treat them that way.

19. It is better to be a thermostat than a thermometer. It is better to set the mood in the room, or affect the culture than be affected by it.

20. Humility is better than competence. Having both is powerful.

21. Enthusiasm is contagious.

22. Celebrate often. Find someone you can brag about your successes to without feeling bad.

23. There is no greater joy than helping other people become who they are capable of becoming.

24. Anxiety sucks and it will steal all of your best energy if you let it. Everyone would benefit from counseling.

25. Have a wide definition of friends. Some of my best friends are 15 years younger than me and some are 25 years older.

26. People like to hear from you. Every time you think of someone, send them a text.

27. Getting more sleep is good.

28. Annie is the best.

29. People perform at their best when they know you believe in them.

30. Sincerity is always appreciated. Sarcasm rarely is.

31. Words matter.

32. We will never be done learning and growing.

33. Hard work is worth it.

34. God can change your heart if you let him.

35. I am extremely lucky to grow up in the family I grew up in. I am extremely lucky to be Kylie, Nick, Rae and Lucy’s dad. I am not a perfect dad but I am getting better everyday.

36. I have read a lot of biographies. I don’t envy the life of anybody who is biography worthy. It takes a lot of unhealth to get to that level of fame.

37. Buying a small number of nice things is better than buying a large number of cheap things.

38. We will always default to comfort, but meaningful change always involves discomfort.

39. Taking deep breaths helps most things.

40. 40 years from now I may disagree with everything on this list and that will be okay.