Heartbreak v Disappointment

Heartbroken for someone is a fair emotion.

Disappointed in someone is not a fair emotion.

Heartbroken for someone is primarily concerned with the other.

Disappointed in someone is primarily concerned with self.

People can feel the difference.

It is appropriate for us to care enough about people to be heartbroken over them living outside of all that God has for them.

It is not appropriate for us to be disappointed in them not living up to our expectations for them.

Disappointment creates shame.

In John chapter 8 the religious leaders caught a woman in the act of adultery.

Likely half naked and surely ashamed she was brought to the center of town. She deserved to be stoned to death according to the law of the day. In an attempt to trap Jesus the religious leaders asked Jesus what should be done.

Ingeniously he responds that if anyone is without sin they can throw the first stone.

One by one they drop their rocks and walk away.

Her life is saved.

Her shame is removed.

At the end of the encounter Jesus says to her, “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

I am convinced his tone is one of heartbreak and not disappointment.

Do you communicate disappointment or heartbreak?

Are you disappointed in the people who have been entrusted to you or heartbroken for them?

disappointed |ˌdisəˈpointid|

adjective

(of a person) sad or displeased because someone or something has failed to fulfill one’s hopes or expectations: I’m disappointed in you,

heartbroken |ˈhärtˌbrōkən|

adjective

(of a person) suffering from overwhelming distress;

There is a corollary emotion on the other side, when a person you are leading or mentoring thrives do you feel self important or delighted for the other?

self-im·por·tant| ˈˌself əmˈpôrtnt |

adjective

having an exaggerated sense of one's own value or importance: a self-important bureaucrat.

de·light| dəˈlīt |

verb [with object]

please (someone) greatly: an experience guaranteed to delight both young and old.

• [no object] (delight in) take great pleasure in: they delight in playing tricks.