Emotional Capacity

Our emotional energy is our most valuable resource and how we steward it will impact every role we play in our lives. The goal is to manage this resource well so that we can be the person we want to be in every area of our life and we can handle crises big and small when they hit.

Step 1: Grow the size of the Tank

Step 2: Eliminate Boxes

Step 3: Shrink the size of the box.

Grow the size of the tank: Increasing our emotional capacity

We can increase our emotional capacity not just manage how we use it. Both studies and experience shows that through spiritual disciplines, counseling, exercise, adequate sleep and healthy eating habits increases our emotional capacity.

This process of growing our tank is an ongoing life long task. Simultaneous to growing our tank we must be wise on what we give our energy to. There are two ways to manage this.

Eliminate Boxes: Managing our pace

The number of boxes is related to pace.. Most of the time when we get overwhelmed we say, “I have too much going on!!” This is probably at least partially true and all of us would benefit from regular audits of whether there are things we are doing in our lives that no longer serve you or your team and you should eliminate them. Outsourcing, automating and quitting are all great methods of eliminating boxes.

Shrink the size of the box: Stewarding our emotional energy

I am convinced that this is the step we most often miss. We blame pace when the culprit is we are giving too much emotional energy to things that don’t deserve it. Instead we must make sure that we are giving an appropriate amount of emotional energy to each area of our life and work. An email from an upset board member requires a response- I can’t eliminate that box- but I have control of whether I let that email consume me thereby becoming a big box taking a lot of my emotional energy. A health scare for your spouse deserves a big box.

If we will take each of these steps continually we will have emotional margin in our reserves so when a phone call comes with difficult news we can respond at our best.